Sacred Parenting (A book review by Melissa Deming)

(I love reading book reviews before I invest in a book, especially when the review is honest and thorough and contains the good, the bad and the ugly.  Today, my dear friend Melissa of HiveResources.com does just that in her review of Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas.  This book has been sitting on my shelf to be read for a few months and now I have a much better idea of what to expect when I crack it open.  -Desiré)

Book Summary: Parenting is not about kids; it’s not even about parents.  In his book, Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls, best-selling author Gary Thomas reveals the bigger picture missed my most parents: parenting is about God.  Thomas encourages readers to view parenting as one of God’s ordained tools for shaping the human soul, or sanctifying us (that’s fancy language for conforming us to the image of Christ).

Thomas makes his point in the following ways. Raising children, he says, shapes our souls by teaching parents:

·         - to value character over comfort,

·         - to deal with guilt,

·         - to listen to God,

·         - to embrace joy,

·         -to confront cowardice with courage,

·         -to handle anger,

·         -to look beyond glamour into glory,

·         -to learn patience, long-suffering, and perseverance,

·         -to learn sacrifice, and

·         -to learn trust and hope.

What I liked about the book:

·         1.  The author makes a strong case for God-centered parenting. Because I can easily make parenting about me, Thomas’ book is a good reminder to remove myself from the center of the parenting equation (i.e.: “how can I fix my kid?” “Man, I really blew it today.” “My kid is driving me CRAZY!”)

·         2.  The author puts ‘guilt’ in its proper place. The author’s chapter on guilt was my favorite in the book, because guilt is a constant battle of every mom I know. If guilt incapacitates you, then you’ll enjoy Thomas’ explanation of the positive uses of guilt for parenting, such as, a proper perspective of guilt can teach us love mercy!

What I didn’t like about the book:

·      1.  It’s written by a man! I’m joking, but some of his points and illustrations were a little man-centered for a book that many women will want to read. For instance, his chapter on looking beyond glamour (physical appearance) would have read much better had it been written by his wife. Hearing him describe the female’s post-partum body made me cringe!

·         2.  The mysticism of the author’s chapter “Seizing Heaven” seemed a little misplaced for a parenting book. This chapter centered on listening to God as an active choice (which I benefitted from greatly); however, some of it was a little too mystical for me. Call me a bore.

·         3.  The book could have benefitted from better sources. For example, there are hundreds of women writers (both contemporary and historic) who’ve emerged from the trenches of parenting with joy and victory. Yet, the author repeatedly quotes (16 times) two non-Christian female writers -one a self-described feminist and the other an award-winning journalist - in his attempt to showcase the difficulties of motherhood. I’m sure these ladies are smart, witty, and together, but the lives of these particular women do little to strengthen his thesis. I love books that introduce me to Christian authors and theologians with which I’m unacquainted - as well as resources for life battles. This book fell short tragically short in that respect.

Who should read this book?

·         Someone struggling in their call to parenthood. Despite my criticisms, it is a good tool to add to your parenting arsenal.

·         Someone crumbling under the weight of a particular child-rearing issue such as a rebellious or way-ward child, post-partum difficulties, finding joy, or dealing with anger.

·         Men! This book was written by a father of three, and should be read by fathers! Because Thomas brings gentleness and biblical integrity to the role of fatherhood, this book would make a great Father’s Day present or a shower gift for a new dad.

·         A small group comprised of families.  Sacred Parenting could be a very practical discipleship tool. Although the book does not include questions at the close of chapters, group leaders could easily assign Bible reading and material to facilitate discussion.

Melissa
 

Melissa Deming is a freelance journalist and creative writer. She is also the creator of HiveResources.com - a site that helps women sweeten their walk with Christ through devotional articles, book reviews, and more.Melissa holds a Masters of Divinity in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, Wake Forest, NC, and a B.A. in Journalism from Texas A&M University.

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