Tuesday, April 24, 2012
There Is Beauty In This Mess
I look around my house and see a pile of laundry on my sofa that's been there for days. There are dishes in the sink and a rotten smell coming out of the disposal. The kids have tracked toys that belong in their playroom to the furthest corners of this house and I yelp in pain as I step on the plug-in end of the vacuum cleaner cord. One child is singing and one child is screaming and it feels like madness.
This is not what I had in mind when I imagined being a mama.
The doubt jumps at its opportunity to crush me as I allow even the slightest opening in this new armor God and I are working on. And I think I must be doing something wrong since this mothering doesn't come easy for me.
But, I hear the truth before I can stay in that pit. No, this doesn't come easy. But I'm not supposed to do this on my own! And just because it is hard doesn't negate the fact that this is where God is using me.
Every single toy that is in the wrong room, every single piece of that dreaded laundry I have to fold, every single time I have the opportunity to choose between grace words and harsh words God is using me. He is growing me. And I fail daily and ask forgiveness daily. And, yes it is painful, but that's why they call it growing pains.
This isn't supposed to be easy, mama. It isn't supposed to be dandelions and clean clothes and snot free noses. I know because God's word tells me "in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Just because it isn't easy doesn't mean it isn't good. Just because there is trouble to be found in this world, often in our own homes, doesn't mean that we can't rejoice!
There is beauty in this mess of motherhood. There is beauty when I choose to take up my Savior's yoke. There is beauty when I fail and ask forgiveness. There is beauty when my daughter tells me her favorite Bible verse while we are driving in the car and then proceeds to throw a huge tantrum because her seat belt is buckled "wrong." There is beauty when I skip the dishes and build towers with my little man and realize he's got a nice full diaper waiting for me to change...again. And there is beauty when no one acknowledges this work I do. There is beauty here. Because God has me here and because God is here.
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Posted by Jen at 6:30 AM