(Today's guest post is from a childhood friend of mine that I recently reconnected with via Facebook. Don't you love modern technology?!? She is the mother of 4 beautiful girls and today she shares her heart on being a girl raising girls and the beautiful mess that sometimes creates! I think you will be blessed! -Desiré)
I think sometimes there is a kind of competition between the moms of boys and the moms of girls. I'm not here to say that my job is harder than your job if you've got boys. My sister has boys and they run into walls, wrestle anything that moves, and in no time they'll be eating 5 times the amount that my girls eat. My 8-yr-old girl is already counting calories. Lord help us.
"What's so hard about having girls?” you may ask. Well, one of the problems is that I'm a girl. I'm an emotional girl and my girls have inherited this ability to really feel the drama of every situation, and together we ride a roller coaster all day long, feeding off of each other's emotional instability.
I know. I know. It's a beautiful picture. I wish you could see us some days: The 2-yr-old, 4-yr-old, 6-yr-old, 8-yr-old, and 30-yr-old feeling the effects of Eve's disease, "I want to be god of my world." And it's up to the 30-yr-old to remember the gospel and show her girls that it’s an empty thing to strive for. That fruit won't satisfy.
Our God is King and He is a good King. But before you know it, I've forgotten the gospel, and then my kingdom didn't come. Life doesn't work out the way I planned. The house is dirty. I didn't get to work out. My hair is frizzy. I'm too tired to bathe the kids and they stink. I just want a hug. I want to drink coffee with my other mom friends while we talk about how our kingdom didn't come that day and how hard our lives are. Oh, that feels good...oh wait, no it doesn't.
The great thing is that if I ever step back and look at my precious girls with their own identical desires to wear lip gloss and be beautiful, and have a pink, sparkly, perfect world with plenty of hugs, I can totally feel their pain. We're on the same page, my 4-yr-old and I. I get her. And I can sit down on her pink princess bed and rub her back when she's upset because her hair isn't lying right and I can say, "I feel ya, Kate. My hair wasn’t made for anything but pontytails. But the Lord knows what is good for His children."
What I think is so important is that when the girls are watching me react to life, that I remember who is King and that He is good and loving and He's saying, "Amanda, I know that all 4 girls are screaming at once and you're having a heart attack while you fix dinner. I care about all those things that concern you."
If I don't remember that, I could never bring myself to pull my eyes off of my own struggle and see their own little girl struggles. I would never turn off the stove, sit down in floor with the screamers all around me and talk about how much we all need Jesus.
Chances are that before I calmly turn off the stove and sit and stroke their backs and talk about our Savior, I'm going to fly off the handle, and then that's the perfect opportunity to talk about how much Mommy needs Jesus. They know it. There's no need to pretend I don't. And watching Mommy repent of her selfishness, vanity, and roller-coaster emotions, is a great way for a little princess to learn that the gospel is real. At least they'll know their mommy is convinced.
Amanda
"What's so hard about having girls?” you may ask. Well, one of the problems is that I'm a girl. I'm an emotional girl and my girls have inherited this ability to really feel the drama of every situation, and together we ride a roller coaster all day long, feeding off of each other's emotional instability.
I know. I know. It's a beautiful picture. I wish you could see us some days: The 2-yr-old, 4-yr-old, 6-yr-old, 8-yr-old, and 30-yr-old feeling the effects of Eve's disease, "I want to be god of my world." And it's up to the 30-yr-old to remember the gospel and show her girls that it’s an empty thing to strive for. That fruit won't satisfy.
Our God is King and He is a good King. But before you know it, I've forgotten the gospel, and then my kingdom didn't come. Life doesn't work out the way I planned. The house is dirty. I didn't get to work out. My hair is frizzy. I'm too tired to bathe the kids and they stink. I just want a hug. I want to drink coffee with my other mom friends while we talk about how our kingdom didn't come that day and how hard our lives are. Oh, that feels good...oh wait, no it doesn't.
The great thing is that if I ever step back and look at my precious girls with their own identical desires to wear lip gloss and be beautiful, and have a pink, sparkly, perfect world with plenty of hugs, I can totally feel their pain. We're on the same page, my 4-yr-old and I. I get her. And I can sit down on her pink princess bed and rub her back when she's upset because her hair isn't lying right and I can say, "I feel ya, Kate. My hair wasn’t made for anything but pontytails. But the Lord knows what is good for His children."
What I think is so important is that when the girls are watching me react to life, that I remember who is King and that He is good and loving and He's saying, "Amanda, I know that all 4 girls are screaming at once and you're having a heart attack while you fix dinner. I care about all those things that concern you."
If I don't remember that, I could never bring myself to pull my eyes off of my own struggle and see their own little girl struggles. I would never turn off the stove, sit down in floor with the screamers all around me and talk about how much we all need Jesus.
Chances are that before I calmly turn off the stove and sit and stroke their backs and talk about our Savior, I'm going to fly off the handle, and then that's the perfect opportunity to talk about how much Mommy needs Jesus. They know it. There's no need to pretend I don't. And watching Mommy repent of her selfishness, vanity, and roller-coaster emotions, is a great way for a little princess to learn that the gospel is real. At least they'll know their mommy is convinced.
Amanda
About Amanda: I'm a mom of 4 girls, ages 8, 6, 4, and 2. I love to cook and clean (it's true), try to sew, and will occasionally peel myself away from Pinterest to eat and sleep. She blogs about her adventures and life lessons at In the World of the Webers.
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Wow. I so needed to read this today. I am a mom of a 6 yr old princess and was begining to wonder if I was the only one who felt this way. Thank you Desire' for posting this and thank you Amanda for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally wonderful!!! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, what a beautiful picture of how the gospel plays out practically at your house. So very encouraging and convicting. Loved this especially: "I want to drink coffee with my other mom friends while we talk about how our kingdom didn't come that day and how hard our lives are. Oh, that feels good...oh wait, no it doesn't." That's what we do, isn't it? *sigh* guess I need to repent of that, too. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true, as a mom to two girls (4 & 3) it's so easy to forget how BIG a young girls emotions are and how real they are to them and really SEE their struggles-we all need to do this- parents of boys and girls alike, great little snippet! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, Amanda! As a mom of girls {and a boy} I know all too well the "competition" you're talking about. Sometimes I want to shoot back at people, "Shut your mouth...girls are JUST as hard {if not harder} than boys. Then, I realize I too need Jesus. ;-)
ReplyDelete