Then the Tornado, also known as Silas, storms in and ruins the beautiful day in Sodor and on Miller Island as well. Can you see it in his eyes? He's about to strike!
Screams and screeches echo off the walls and my shoulders tense up into my ears!
Ahhh... the pleasant lesson of teaching your children to put one another first.
Our first stab at it has definitely produced some results. Not even near perfection, mind you, but we've got some standards in place and we're headed in the right direction!
I decided to start with Ephesians 4:32a because it shows the pro-active and re-active aspects of sharing. The verse says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other..." I used a train on the pictures because it is by far the number one toy that fights are started over in this house.
When a squabble erupts, I first remind both boys that they are to show kindness and compassion to one another. They should NEVER be putting a toy before a person. Doesn't that just put it in perspective?!? It's not about who had it first and who rightly should get to play with it, it's about their heart and the selfishness that is displayed in both of them every time they argue over an object. (Just in case you were wondering how Silas responds to my heartfelt instruction... well, he stares at me blankly, but I'm trying to show Isaac that the standard is not just for him. :)
Then, in cases where Silas storms in and ruins all happiness with his destructive, bull-in-a-China-closet type ways (and occasionally Isaac is guilty of the same), we move on to the forgiveness part of the verse. I'm actually so in love with the end of the verse, that once Isaac mastered the first part, I started throwing the whole thing out there. "Just as in Christ, God forgave you." All offenses pretty much pale in comparison to my offense against the Savior, huh? I may or may not have been convicted roughly a bazillion times while working on this verse with Isaac...
The more I use Scripture in my parenting, the more I am convinced that it is the way to go. Over and over again, I'm convicted as I teach. Over and over again, I'm encouraged that I'm doing the right thing (even when it would be easier to just give the toy back to whoever had it first and not address the heart). Over and over again I see small glimpses that my boys are understanding what they're being taught.
If you'd like to use the printable I created, click here. (I started out just using the first half of the verse, but Isaac caught on well and we're working on the whole thing now. You'll see a reference for 4:32a or 4:32, depending on which you choose to do.)
I think EVERYTHING is easier for a kid (and, honestly, an adult) to learn if it's put to music. I put this verse to the tune of Hey, Diddle Diddle (at least the version that one of our toys plays... I actually never knew the tune until we got it, so maybe Fisher Price just made it up... not sure.) Don't hate on my composing abilities... it works! :)
Here's us singing our lovely duet! Yes, I'm pretty much singing it alone and yes, that's chocolate around his mouth. He's not much for humoring me with video-taking, so I decided to catch him when he was happy and on a sugar-high! (To see it on YouTube, click here.)
To make it work for the whole verse, we do this: (To see it on YouTube, click here.)
You can find our other Scripture memorization posts and printables under "More Ideas."
You are welcome to use any ideas or printables shared on this blog for your personal use only. Please do not use any photos without prior consent. If you decide to blog about something you have seen here, please provide a link back to this blog. Thank you!
Thanks for this post! I have 2 boys (ages 2 & 3) and have a home daycare. Obviously sharing is ALWAYS an issue! I'm curious about 2 things. First of all, how do you explain compassion to the kids? Secondly, can you elaborate a little bit more on how you handle the situation when you're in the midst of a "sharing fight?" Thanks!
ReplyDeleteGreat questions Jessi! First of all, kudos to you for trying to honor God not only with your own kids, but with those you’ve been entrusted with!
ReplyDeleteAs for you questions, I haven’t spent a whole lot of time talking with my boys about the “compassion” issue. I try to point it out when they show compassion for one another and commend them. Every once in a while my oldest (Isaac) will bring a toy to my youngest (Silas) if he’s upset about something. I try to encourage him for his act of compassion and empathy, but for the most part, we focus on the kindness aspect at this point in life. Compassion is still a bit abstract to put into words for them, but I definitely think it’s something they’re learning now by observation of others.
As for an “in the midst of it” sharing example, it can look a little different every time, but it would typically go something like this: Isaac screams because Silas took something. I try to quote Eph. 4:32 as quickly as possible (or have Isaac say it with me) to get my head in the right place and focus on the most important thing. (Really, I’ve found that learning these verses with him helps me as much if not more than them!) I ask Isaac if he’s showing kindness and compassion to Silas by screaming at him when he takes a toy. Usually he’ll humor me and say “no.” Sometimes he’s mute, so I answer for him. :) I then turn to Silas and ask him if he’s showing kindness and compassion to Isaac by running off with one of the toys his brother is playing with. (He’s too young to understand, but I do it to show them the standard is for both of them and it gives me good practice). I answer for him and then assess the situation.
If Isaac had the toy and was actively playing with it when Silas took it, I tell Silas to give it back and then I make Isaac choose a toy that he can play with instead. (It’s usually a train, so he has to choose a train that he CAN play with and it’s a good way for him to get to practice showing kindness and forgiveness in action). If the toy was just in his vicinity and he decided to throw a fit because he might want to play with it in the next 2 hours, then I talk to Isaac about how that is selfish. We end by making sure that the offender apologizes and the offended forgives (according to the verse). If I didn't see what happened, then I ask Isaac. He's still usually pretty honest with me, so for now, I take his word for it. I know that may or may not always be the case.
This is an ideal example. Sometimes it’s just a small portion of my above example, because that’s all that’s feasible or practical at the moment. Sometimes one or both are having meltdowns and I can’t get a word in edge-wise, so discipline is needed instead of discussion. I honestly don’t have a way to MAKE them act the way I want them to, but I feel much better when I’ve dealt with their heart rather than just the outside circumstances when I get done. Selfishness is still alive and well in our house, but this gives me a way to address it in a way that I believe is God honoring. Hope that helps! :)
I just found your site yesterday through "I can teach my child" and I LOVE it! Thanks for sharing these printables. I love the idea to focus on the heart of children and using biblical standards to enforce the rules. This is so helpful. THANK YOU!!
ReplyDeleteTeamboyer, We're so glad you found us! We hope you continue to be encouraged here!
ReplyDeleteJessi, I thought of one more thing to add the "book" I wrote above! :) I often try to ask them if they are putting their toy first or their brother first and remind them that it is never okay for a toy to outrank their brother.
Hi Desire'! I found your blog today from Women Living Well linky party. The timing of finding this post is perfect for me. I am working on teaching my children one character trait with a verse per week and this week is kindness with Eph. 4:32. I will definitely use your printable and link back to you when I blog about it. Thanks for sharing. Great website! LOVE it! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteTrina
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